Everyone wants to have confidence, right? I’ve yet to hear anyone on earth say, “I don’t need or want confidence.” Well, I have good news and bad news about this. The good news is that each of us can have complete and total confidence. The bad news is that you don’t know this.
Why? Because somewhere along the way, we have become convinced that others give us (or take away) our confidence. But if you stop to think about it, that simply shouldn’t be the case. Other people do not possess the power to give or take away your confidence. That right is reserved for you and you alone.
For example, you see a really pretty outfit that you want to buy for work. It’s not something you typically wear, because it is (fill in the blank here yourself: brighter than you usually wear? Less conservative than you usually wear? Edgier than you usually wear?) You get the point. But you take the plunge and buy the outfit (despite your slight reservation). The next morning you put it on as you head out to work. You peek in the mirror on the way out and give yourself a big thumbs up!
As soon as you walk through the door of your workplace, you start self-doubting. You head directly for the restroom and take another look at yourself, making sure everything looks right. Yes, it does, so with head held high, you march to your workspace. By noon, not one person has issued a compliment to your new outfit or made any mention of how you look at all. Are your palms getting a little sweaty? Are you feeling the need to peel off this crazy outfit and put on an old “standby?” Admit it, you’re losing your confidence, aren’t you. And the reason is because you were waiting for others to give it to you. If your coworkers had voiced their “approval” of your look, that would have solidified your own thoughts about it, but since they haven’t voiced approval (or disapproval), you are on shaky ground.
Well, this is when I say Baloney! Why does it make a difference to you whether or not other people liked or disliked your choice? It shouldn’t. The fact is, you liked it, you bought it, you own it! And you certainly don’t need permission, right? Slap yourself right now. Shoulders back, head up, and get out there!
Give yourself the gift of confidence, because if you are waiting for someone else to bestow it upon you, you will be at their mercy forever. I like to walk into a room or a situation, look around and think, “these people don’t have anything that I don’t have.” You should, too.
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